Saturday, 24 January 2015

Tennis Twirling and other Thoughts

I love reading the BBC's magazine on its website, especially I like the feature "Ten Things we didn't know last week".  I came across this gem - some old and hopefully obsolete laws in the USA.  Here's the link and it's well worth reading: Slater's look at obsolete US laws
My favourite has to be in Ohio it's "illegal to disrobe in front of a man's portrait."  I seem to remember that somewhere there's a law against hanging out men and women's underwear together on the line. 

We've come a long way since then.  We are now in the age of women having the same rights as men and no one turns a hair or raises a quizzical eyebrow.  Or have I got that wrong?
Yes, folks, we have Twirlgate - Eugenie Bouchard wore a stunning tennis outfit recently at the Australian  Open in Melbourne and was surprised when a reporter asked her to "twirl" to show it off.  She duly obliged amid a huge cheer from the crowd.  She said she didn't mind being asked but would prefer if people concentrated on her tennis.  Twirlgate upset a lot of feminists.  I must admit that I wasn't impressed either.  If you're on the red carpet for a movie award then fair enough but if you have put in all the training and hard work required to win a high level tennis match, then I think the focus should be on how you played and not on your outfit.

So how far have we come, exactly?  Has anyone asked Nadal or Federer to show off their tennis shorts or shoes or just give us a blast of those muscular legs?  Certainly the female tennis players are an attractive bunch as indeed are the males.  Should it make a difference, how you look?  Do you have to be super-sexy to get to the top of the corporation? I wouldn't like to take any bets on it.

But are women partly to blame?  In the UK there was a kerfuffle recently because one of the tabloids decided not to publish its Page 3 topless model pics.  Apparently a lot of male readers felt cheated.  And there was me, thinking people bought newspapers for the news they contain and not for a pin-up photo of a bare-breasted young woman lol.  A commentator on a French news channel said that "here in France you can see topless women on TV any time of the day and no one thinks anything of it."  One model said it was "just a job" and didn't know what the fuss was about.  Confusing, isn't it? 

Should we rely on our brains and professionalism instead of on our feminine abilities to wow the male sex?  Perhaps we're looking at this all wrong and we should be proud of flaunting our boobs and other attributes in order to get what we want.  Of course it's kind of hard for those of us who don't have much to flaunt.  And then there's that saying about the way to a man's heart being through his stomach.   Someone somewhere said if women thought this they were aiming too high.

Saturday, 3 January 2015

Leaving home - what's the one thing you'd take with you?

Currently reading:   The Sunrise by Victoria Hislop and enjoying it.

Happy New Year everyone!

The New Year started off favourably for me.  I received my Irish driving licence a few days ago and was absolutely delighted.  The photo even looks like me!  I didn't expect to get it so fast but everyone in Germany was most helpful and all went without a hitch.  I think I may take off for a few days exploring this summer and hire a car now that I've got an up-to-date permit.  Connemara in the west of Ireland would be an idea.  Mountains and valleys stretching away in the distance and not much traffic except for the sheep placidly grazing the slopes.  Lovely!  But first there is my trip to Berlin in April with two friends.  I have seen Berlin when it was divided, have stood at Checkpoint Charlie and looked over the wall.  At that time the other side looked like a foreign country.  I've been back since then for the briefest of visits.This time will be different as I am acting as guide (of sorts).  Should be fun.

 This trip reminds me how important it is to have something to look forward to.  I've given up making Resolutions, yes I need to get rid of those pounds I put on over Christmas with all those mince pies and cake and yes, I will get rid of them but at my own pace and not under any pressure to do so within a given period of time.

I read an interesting article on the BBC's website today about people who had to leave home in a hurry and what they decided to take with them.  Most of them had little time to decide.  Their stories are poignant - here's the link: - and although they reminded me of my own choices when I had to pack up to move here, I realise just how lucky I am. Even so, I had to agonise over what could be transported and what I would have to leave behind.  I guess we all do that especially when we leave home as young adults.  Trouble is, over the years most of us accumulate a pile of stuff that holds a lot of memories.  I packed the paperback editions of my favourite novels but had to leave lots of hardbacks behind including The Oxford Dictionary or Quotations which I love dipping into at odd moments (yes, I've got a paperback version now) and loads of kitchen stuff which I sadly miss!  To me it's a revelation what you actually need and what you think you can't do without.  Anyway, I manage very well on my reduced household, if I'm honest.  I'm not at all sure what one item I would take with me if I now had to flee.  It most likely wouldn't be my books.  But what?  More than likely a blanket, I think. That would be practical, I could curl up in it at night, it would keep me warm if necessary or act as a sunshade.  

What would you take with you if you had to leave home for good in a hurry? I'd be interested to hear any comments.

Thursday, 18 December 2014

Happy Christmas to all readers of this blog

I am gearing up for Christmas. My trip to Germany and tour of the Christmas market have got me into the excitement of it all.  I love everything about Christmas starting with the first Sunday of Advent when the first candle is lit on the Advent wreath.  In Germany everyone has a festively decorated plate with oranges, nuts, apples and homemade (or shop bought in my case) cookies which they put out on the coffee table so that you can pick at all the delicious bits and pieces all afternoon.  The smell of woodland from the wreath combined with the aroma of gingerbread, cinnamon, cloves, honey and mulled wine really goes to my head!  Outside it is growing dark and it is so comforting to be in the warmth looking out at the houses with their Christmas lights.
Last evening I went to a church carol service.  It was all so peaceful and pleasant to be singing the old familiar carols and a few I didn't know. The church is really old and looks like something out of a nostalgic Christmas card. I walked the few blocks home afterwards feeling at peace with the world. 

When I was a child we got a lot of Christmas cards and I loved looking at the various pictures:  snow covered streets, old churches with the warm yellow light of candles showing at the windows, horses and carriages and ladies dress in long skirts.  I really wanted my Christmas to be like that but mostly we didn't even get frost let alone snow and we walked to Midnight Mass.  I do recall one frosty starry night which held a special magic because I could imagine the shepherds guarding their flocks on such a night.
I can think of no better quote for this time of year than from Charles Dickens:  'I will honour Christmas in my heart and try to keep it all the year.'
Happy Christmas to everyone wherever you are.

Sunday, 14 December 2014


I am currently reading:  Almost English by Charlotte Mendelson and enjoying it very much. 

Last week I was in Germany to visit my daughter and grandchildren.  It always fascinates me that a two-hour flight means a total change of culture.  The things which bother everyone at home are not even mentioned.  Jane Austen remarks on this in her novel Persuasion when her heroine goes to visit her sister in a nearby village and is amazed at the difference in interests and concerns.

Something else had changed, too.  For my return flight I went to Terminal One at Frankfurt airport as I was flying Lufthansa.  Everything is now being automated at this terminal and I must say I didn't like it.  You now get your boarding card from a machine - well I don't have a problem with that - but then you weigh in your luggage yourself including affixing the baggage tag to it.  Security is followed by automatic passport control where your passport is scanned, you walk into a small space and wait for the green light which opens the door to let you through.  I felt like I was in a cow pen. Surely part of flying was that nice smiling ground hostess who took your suitcase, called your attention to your departure gate and wished you a good journey?  Having to do it all myself made me think I had been co-opted onto the staff and there was a chance I'd be asked to do some tasks before take-off - maybe steer the plane down the runway or something of that nature.

I guess I'm old-fashioned but I don't approve of a world where so much money is saved on staff and you are expected to do everything yourself as if the privilege of using the company just can't be compensated by paying for your purchases.  And it gets rid of jobs big time.  But the companies still expect people to have money to spend on their services.  This has never made sense to me.

Enough of my ranting for today.  On the brighter side, I may have my Irish driving licence next week.  I now have all the papers for it so the application should go smoothly.  It means a trip to the city so I can combine it with some (more) Christmas shopping.  Lovely thought.

Wednesday, 5 November 2014

A Driven Woman

I decided recently to get my German driving licence exchanged for an Irish one. Now that we in the EU are all one big happy family it should be easy peasy, I thought.  I checked out what I'd need in the way of documentation on the online website and made my appointment.  So far so splendid.  The lady on the other side of the desk looked through my stuff and picked up my tatty, dog-eared German licence.
'I've never seen one of these,' she said and up she got and walked away with it to confer with her colleagues.  I would have thought that in these days of data share the information should only have been a mouse click away.

Now, admittedly the licence is 30 years old and I never had it upgraded to one of those smart cheque-card-like jobs.  And I do look a bit older these days - yeah, OK, I look like the mother of that lady in the photo.  But it is me, I swear.  I remember exactly the day I got it.

It was Ash Wednesday and city traffic was light.  I didn't make too many mistakes following my first disastrous test a few weeks before on which I shall be discreetly silent. The driving inspector looked deeply into my eyes and said - wait for it - 'shouldn't you be wearing glasses?'   I hastened to assure him that I was wearing contact lenses and he really had no option other than to believe me.  He then signed the licence and handed it over to me, shaking hands with me as well.  It had all been prepared in advance and only needed his signature to make it legal.  I was so relieved I could have kissed him, well maybe not but I felt as if I'd been given a gold medal at the Olympics. I'd finally done it.  And thus I embarked on a fraught relationship with my driving and the realities of traffic and road signs, kamikaze pedestrians and your-driving-sucks-other drivers.

So how could this lady say she didn't accept this piece of paper which is proof positive that anyone can drive if I can?  That's what she did, though.  She advised me to contact the German driving licence people and get confirmation that they did issue me with this document 30 years ago.  So I went home, wrote a humble email to the people in Flensburg and now await their reply.  Maybe they'll be sympathetic, maybe they'll laugh their heads off, maybe they'll ignore me.  My driving future rests in their hands.  If they don't cooperate I won't get issued with an Irish licence.  I could of course sit my driving test here but I doubt if I'd pass it.

So will I be a driving woman or a driven woman?  I'm not taking any bets either way.

Friday, 17 October 2014

Is having it all possible or even desirable?

Some time ago I read an article about career women "having it all".  Indra Nooyi, chief executive of PepsiCola, was interviewed on stage at the Aspen Idea Festival and she related what happened on the day her appointment as chief executive was announced.  She was overwhelmed (who wouldn't be!) and decided that instead of working until midnight (clue to being appointed here perhaps??) she hurried home to tell her family.  When she arrived she didn't get a chance to tell her news immediately because her mother asked her to go out and get some milk as there was none left with the remark "your news can wait".  This throws up a lot of questions (why had no one thought to stock up on the milk?  couldn't someone else have got it?) but it illustrates a point or at least the point that she was making "I might be chief executive in the office but I'm mom at home." Does that mean she doesn't really have it all?  How do you define "having it all"?

The average working mother knows that when she comes home there will be a dozen different things calling for her attention.  She will have to cook the evening meal, touch base with the kids on homework/school, most likely put a load of washing into the machine, maybe iron a few shirts/blouses for the morning.  And she has to keep juggling dentist's appointments, sports days, shopping, birthday presents and birthday celebrations with all the other things on her agenda.  Even if she has a child minder or a cleaning lady she still has to organize things around this.  The kids get sick and she works from home if she can or has to work round the problem. Men, on the other hand, take out the rubbish and do all the DIY jobs around the place, maybe a bit of gardening too but do not put in as much time on these chores as women and are not responsible for the overall running of the household.
I know, I know - there are exceptions to this where the man of the house shares in all of it and is a tower of strength, it's just that I never met such a paragon.

Mumsnet, the largest UK website for parents and a terrific place to visit as it has just about everything, recently surveyed 1000 working mothers.  The survey showed that women spend 10 hours a week on housework and men spend 5 hours.  A separate survey by the BBC's Radio Four Woman's Hour ( and look under the letter "W")  presents more or less the same picture.  The programme is launching an online "chore wars" calculator intended to enable couples to settle who does most around the house. I am inclined to think that if you have to start checking off on a calculator what each partner does, then you don't actually have a partnership.

So that's it.  You might have it all at work but when you come home it's all gone.  Or you might decide that having it all isn't what you are about and take on a less demanding job.  This has to be decided on an individual basis.  Currently, women are the ones who give birth and by virtue of that fact they automatically become "homemakers".  This is an honorable profession - and profession it is, to be ranked right up there with running a company.  So you can have it all once you have defined what "all" really means.  The main thing is you feel comfortable with your chosen role whether that is full time mom, career woman who is also mom, or more mom than career.  It's your decision and you don't need to explain it to anyone.

Saturday, 4 October 2014

A Sunny Morning

It rained all day yesterday and most of the night so it was a pleasant surprise to wake up to a sunny morning.  I went for a walk to the beach as soon as I had done my shopping - 6x apples, 6x pears and a small bag of potatoes all for €2 on the SuperValu 3 for 2 offer, I added unsmoked bacon and a head of fresh cabbage - that's Sunday dinner and my fruit for most of the week sorted. 

The sky had that it's-going-to-be-showery-later blue look and there was a brisk wind so it was ideal for my half hour walk to the beach. As I passed the quays I noticed that Rebecca was gone from her moorings, no doubt off on one of her deep sea fishing expeditions. A few boat owners were pottering around either getting ready to go out or just coming in, a group of young men were readying their sailing boat, the sails cracking in the wind.  It was all pretty exhilarating and made me wish I could be off somewhere too. When I reached the beach the tide was coming in, the sun glittered on the water and I thought of Shelley's description and how aptly he described it all:

I see the waves upon the shore,
like light dissolved in star showers, thrown

Isn't that just beautiful?  OK, OK I'm getting carried away.  The poem was written in dejection near Naples and I have often wondered how you could ever feel dejected when you sit and watch the sea and write such beautiful poetry.

I watched a sea-gull strutting around in the shallows all on his lonesome.  Every time a wave engulfed his feet he moved back further apparently not wishing to be drawn into the ocean.  Eventually he got bored and flew away.  I envy the sea-gulls, the way they ride the waves or simply take off over the water.  A few families with children and dogs were taking advantage of the small strip of sand left before the tide reached it.  It could have been high summer except that everyone wore jackets and no one ventured into the waves.

That walk has set me up for the day.  I come here nearly every day and every day I find something new to discover.  I hope the sun is shining where you are!  Happy weekend everyone.